Recovery from Gambling Addiction: Lesson learnt from Silvia's experience #4 Be Cruel to Yourself

Be cruel to yourself! Yes? No? Manage to get your attention? :P

Be cruel to yourself means: to do something you don’t always do, which is to overcome that resistance to change. And when you overcome the resistance to change, change takes place and you will speed up your recovery process.

Because staying in gambling is easy, because escaping is easy, but to face the problems, you feel like it will take so much effort to get better right? It is true, because it takes you out of what you normally do, what you normally react, it takes you out of your comfort zone and sometimes you might feel vulnerable when you are facing these issues.

Actually, lesson #4 is about: now is the time to start taking care of yourself. And you have every reasons to be, so you can be in a position to win this fight against gambling and better recovery.

Especially if any one of your triggers is emotional, such as stress, anxiety, depression, boredom, seeking thrill etc.

I know gambling is an easy way out for many of us but… I want out, hence I am going to do things differently than letting myself go.

In an attempt to recover from gambling addiction, I looked through journal papers to see if I can change something to better myself and aid in recovery.

And it’s true enough, after I follow these steps, I have functioned better and having less emotional triggers that leads to gambling.

#4.1 Sleep well

First of all, please do have enough sleep about 7-8 hours of sleep a night and make sure you’re sleeping at night and not in the day.

The lack of sleep can lead to more cognitive/mental malfunction. Research had shown when you sleep, the cerebrospinal fluid flushes the metabolic waste out of your brain so your brain can function better after refresh. This is when the body can heal itself, through sleep.

Studies had also shown that the lack of sleep can lead to cognitive malfunction such as poorer judgement, poorer memory recall, and more impulsivity. People who are night owls or nocturnal are also more prone to mood disorders and mental illness. I used to be nocturnal and after reading papers on this, I changed my sleeping patterns, I will also highlight the importance of vitamin D, sleep and melatonin later at #4.3.

To get better, is to sleep better. It’s better for your brain anyway.

#4.2 Eat Well

Many mood disorders are brought about by the lack of nutrition and nutrients the body needs.

One of the trending topics in research world is about gut bacteria and you have millions and billions of it. Think of your gut microflora as something like a forest. Depending on what you eat, you populate more of some species than others. But not all species of gut bacteria are good for you. Studies had shown that people who eat irresponsibly and have more junk food in their diet (oily, fried food, nutrients-poor food) are related to having some form of mood disorders such as depression and anxiety. Studies had also shown people with depression had a gut bacteria population different to healthy normal control. These findings showed us that what you eat can affect your body and how your brain function and think.

Fibres, oh my goodness! Did you know to populate the good bacteria in your gut, you actually have to feed them good fibres from vegetables and fruits? I am convinced now after reading various papers, now constantly looking for ways to add veges and fruits to my diet.

Make sure you eat a well balance diet: good amount of carbohydrate and protein and low fat but not no fat, some amount of good fat is good for you. I remembered one time I traced back my sudden onset of depression due to me following the fad diet of high protein and low carb diet, it actually “crashed” my brain. I later learnt carbohydrates and proteins help your body to produce serotonin and dopamine in your system, they are your happy chemicals.

Eat at regular times, because your body wants to know when and where to consistently produce your happy chemicals and not wreck your reward system in your brain (which is often disturbed by prolong gambling).

Some studies had also shown that supplementing diet with omega-3 oil from fish or krill can have beneficial effects on the brain and help with depression and anxiety, this has to do with the ingredients in the fish oil (EPA, DHA).

Zinc deficiency had also implicated in mood disorder, nuts are good source of zinc.

Obesity can also lead to more mood disorders, so losing some weight will help.

The bottom line is eat well, eat right and you will feel better. Feeling better means better control, which leads to quitting gambling successfully, and sooner to recovery.

#4.3 Exercise Well + Sun

Sun exposure and exercise can be as simple as…

Oh please don’t frown at this, I know some of you will… You can start with 15 minutes of brisk walking that raises your heart beat. Do make sure you are in good physical condition to exercise otherwise please consult your doctor.

15-30 minutes of brisk walking (meaning walking with intensity or walking quickly). If you live around areas that have uphill slopes or roads with incline, you will benefit tremendously from this, it adds intensity. Walking casually is not exercise enough, to exercise sufficiently, you need to raise your heart beat with moderate intensity exercise, you can do so by brisk walking. Did I also mention I actually lost 3 kg by just brisk walking 35x2 minutes  a day to and fro my university. Simple exercise can bring about huge benefits.

In addition, exercise is a healthy source of happy chemicals (I cover what happy chemicals is from other lessons). In the journals papers I read, exercise helps with metabolism and can raise happy chemicals within your body, even those chemicals normally you lack of when you are depressed or emotionally unbalanced. I won’t go into tiny weeny details such as how exercise changes your circulating miRNA, proteins (which are stuffs my nerdy brain are interested in), just take my words that it will help you better your mood.

Vitamin D deficiency is often associated with mood disorders such as depression, panic attack and anxiety. To help raise your vitamin D, just go for a walk and expose to the sun for 15-20 minutes a day. You can also get vitamin D from some food such as milk or take supplement, but please take them in the day or you won’t be able to sleep at night.

Your body makes vitamin D after exposure to sun in the day and at night they inversely make melatonin which helps you sleep. See how going outdoor for a bit and having good sleep are important for your body system now?

#4.4 Think Well: Mind Gym / Mood Gym

Below are some online help suggestions for strengthening your mind. Some of us don’t grow up with the set of skills or being taught how to regulate our emotions and thinking. It can be our very own self-limiting belief that is bringing our mood down. Example: Oh my goodness this is SO stressful, I really have to go somewhere to relax and... end up where pokies machines are…”.

Instead of reacting to stressful/boring/anxious/depressing environment the same way as you always do, you can learn to re-route your train of thoughts by re-directing your brain how to think better. If driving the same path always ends up in traffic jam or accident, why don’t you try taking a different route then? You just need a GPS (some help for how to begin), and the you can find yourself with a new thinking pattern. Sometimes not new thinking pattern, you may just become so aware of your thoughts that now you will have more control on what to think and feel next.  If you find yourself needing more help, please find professionals to help you or email me with specific questions or areas.

https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_lessons.html

Mindfullness meditation

#4.5 Quit well: Take note of other addictive behaviour (your other source of unhealthy form of happy chemicals)

Usually people with addictions have other co-existing addictive behaviour too. Do you notice that you may also smoke cigarettes or excessive drinking or addicted to food (sugar, caffeine, fat, etc) or video gaming, compulsive web-surfing or even physical interaction. Take note of these behaviours as you quit gambling, whether one becomes more or less obvious. If you slowly tune each of them down, you will have higher chance of quiting gambling successfully, instead of turning one addiction to the other.

I have sugar-addiction too but now it’s more tuned down :P

#4.6 Relax and Socialise. Re-connect with people.

Socialise – your other source of happy chemicals, re-balance your brain.

I know you may ask: how can you socialise and be happy when there is such a huge debt behind you? The truth is, if you continue to gamble, you will pile on more debt. Stop now, start anew and learn to re-balance your brain again with healthy good sources of happy chemicals. Of course please choose to be with the ones that make you happy and positive, not the ones who always complain about every single thing on earth that brings your mood down.

Because when you are comfortable, relax and have a great company, your brain naturally gives you a healthy boost of happy feel-good chemicals, which you don’t need the pokies or gambling to give you. It also allows your brain to re-calibrate your feel-good self.

I know some of you may be recluse like I used to and may encounter social anxiety while you do this. I think it is natural, after all you haven’t been meeting people for so long and suddenly you feel great connecting with your friends, neighbours or best mates, the surge in happy chemicals in your brain may leave you feeling empty and vague after you leave the group or company. Do it a few more times and you will get used to it.

I remembered I felt so good chatting with my mates again in-person, only to feel that huge drop after I finished meeting with them. Do I go back gambling after that? No, I simply just visualize and tell myself I will get used to this happy feeling again, each time I will feel more and more happy and after when I leave the meeting/catch ups, I notice the drop is getting less and less.

One of the factors that contribute to Happy People being happy is that they always have feel good connections with someone, friends or family, etc

One recent article also suggested that if you connect with others or environment in a positive, you are also likely to give up addictive behaviour. For more information see here: The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think

#4.7 De-stress and do something you like! Re-connect with your life and interests.

This is also to re-build your normal healthy happy chemicals pool. Pick something you like to do and go do it. Pick up that hobby again. In James May's toy story show, they made volunteers to help build huge Lego structures and some of them said it was therapeutic. Listening to your favourite songs can be also enjoyable.

Pick up meditation can help calm your mind and bring your stress level down.

#4.8 Overwriting triggers

Your Gambling-Free 100 days

If you are always counting gambling free days, example “this is the second day I haven’t gambled”. I always think that it may not be a good idea to always remind yourself of something negative, kinda reinforcing gambling as negative and sometimes the underlying fear may creep in the background and cause the relapse.

Instead, I proposed counting days of “instead of gambling I do this… and it makes me happy day” (or you can use the word calm, peaceful, life more exciting etc)

E.g. Day 1, Instead of gambling, I choose to go out with my friends, we laughed a lot and it makes me happy.

Day 2, Instead, I choose to play a computer game, never have so much fun until now, and it makes me happy

Day 3, Instead, I go to the Gym and work out, I feel healthier, and it makes me happy

Day 4, Instead of being bored, I choose to go to a live concert, listen to music, and it makes me happy

Few techniques applied here, 1) you don’t remind yourself again and again gambling has a negative influence on you; you don’t need to remind yourself you are quiting gambling, eventually you will successfully quit it. 2) Re-direct your brain to doing something you enjoy, so your brain knows there is alternative way of being happy, calm, peaceful and not bored. 3) Planned and looking forward to an event generates happy chemicals, helps you to cultivate that balance back. 4) Overwriting past triggers, e.g. it used to be when you’ve got nothing to do, you go to gamble. Now you can do this: Day 6, Instead of having nothing to do, I choose to plan a trip to my favourite café to drink coffee or weekend trip getaway, and it makes me happy.

Been planning to complete writing for so long. Sorry for the delay.

Please let me know if any of these information is helpful. Keep your emails coming, I enjoy reading them :)

For now, take care and good luck.

Till next time,

With many blessings,

Silvia